I was sleeping…

Well there I wuz deep in a forest whun outta nowhur a big azz bear started to chase me. I ran and ran and ran and realized the only way fer me to be safe wuz to climb up a tree. I nefer did that befur but I knew there wuz no time like the presunt so I shimmied my butt up the tree to a high branch and watched as the bear ran on by still chazing me. I wuz happy I out smarded it. Then I hurd sumthing and looked on the branch I had made it to and there wuz a hawk! A big nasty hawk looking at me like I wud make a great meal. He starded to come towards me and his beak and talluns looked real sharp so down the tree I flew. I starded to run back the way I came (thinking the bear wuz long gone) and I ran into a moose. He wuz HUGE! He starded pawing the ground so I’m like, “what the…x#@! is going on???” The moose gave chase and there I wuz running again as fast as my fore legs cud take me. I dodged in and out of blizzards, incredibul winds and hail. I must’ve been really running hard cuz the next thing I knew Mom petted me gently awake. I wuz abut to kiss her for safing my life when I saw she’d been watching some show abut Alaska on TV. Geeze I’ve never been so hoomiliated and exhausted. I looked at her, got up and stretched and then jumped off the sofa and went into the bedroom, jumped on the bed and got under the covers. Maybe now I’ll get some rezt. (In hindsight I guess I shud be glad she wazn’t watching American Ninja Warrior.)

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